I am so surprised by today's events.  A normal world is going on around me as I swirl in a daze of lost memories and lost time.  I have lived in duality for most of my life.  It isn't as if I was crazy or anything because all tests show that I am a normally adjusted and highly gifted person.  Regardless of my intangible aspects, I am still a reasonably sensible person.  But, the science and science-fiction intangibles are simply not in keeping with my normal world.  Yet, the combination of the two are at times simultaneous and yet distinct in separate origins.  How is it that two worlds can exist within only one person, one paradoxical and axiomatic person.   It is only a simple demonstration that there are possibilities of more than one inclusive universe, multidimensional universes complete with relevant paradoxes to balance everything by necessity.  Hm.

 On another note, I have continued to work away on the little red S-10.  I can think of so many things I liked about the little red S-10 I used to drive as I spend time with the little one in front of me.  I must have put almost a million miles of driving into the records with one of those S-10 King cab version with a long box and a white fiberglas canopy over the eight foot long box.  So, the stock version of engine in the little red S-10 is basically what I had in the real S-10.  My memories of the real S-10 are behind the gift of the scale model in the first place and why I decided to put a sort of canopy on the box of the pickup truck.  It just looks better.

I don't often have a say in things anymore.  It used to be that I decided some very critical decisions with the help of my gifts, instincts, and other resources.  Now, I couldn't trust myself to simple math without making a dyslexic mistake or a simple outright error.  So, I have decided to do my level best with the details of the little red pickup truck like the one I used to have.  No one would believe I had that red S-10 going up and down the main highways of the continent as much as I did.  Oh, how I did do what I was so good at.

The morning started off with an accident.  I dropped the chassis of the S-10 from my desk top to the wood floor.  The chassis gave way right behind the main suspension struts.  Thankfully, the plastic broke evenly on both sides of the chassis evenly.  I tried two types of glue to reassemble the chassis pieces together.  Finally, I settled on a third type of glue that had enough acid to melt the plastic enough to make a successful join.  At the same time, I also glued the chassis into the body of the cab and box unit.  I used a heavy flat file to balance the pressure needed to keep the front end of the chassis in place until the glue set properly.  Now, the repair is a bit out of alignment, but it still looks good.

My main accomplishment of yesterday and today were to clean up the work I have done on the balsa wood canopy.  I cut out window panels and put in clear sheets of plastic to fit the curved windows.  It still looks good although no glue was used to keep the plastic in place.  I rounded out the outer surfaces of the canopy and separated the rear window from the canopy to set in hinges.  I am still thinking of what sort of hinges to use.  I will sleep on that and other things while I muse through myriads of memories I have floating around in my mind.  I am always entertained, even when I am doing nothing because there is always something to think about.

I know I am a day late, but that is only because I have already posted before I thought about this post.  So, from one blunder and on to the next, I wend my way through the oblivious cloud of unknowing into the mists of forgetfulness. 

It took me a while to remember, but I do now.  I remember when I almost freaked when I saw it!  It was a long dark cylinder against the brilliant backwash of energy fields illuminating the nebula for a few thousand light years in any direction.  The crowning glory of a nova was seen to flash across the universe for all time, and just as blatantly capturing the sharp silhouette of the object from the moment it appeared in normal space until it disappeared within a cloak of energy fields only moments later.  Still, that brief exposure was just as much a photograph as it was a beacon of Life and living to the rest of the chaotically inanimate universe.

I saw that image captured and displayed to the public world as a rare glimpse of a stellar nebula in it's finest moments of glory and total destruction.  Who could know the implications of a tiny little dot barely visible to the naked eye.  Who could understand just who or what wsa behind the faint shadow of pixelation shaded into the broad array of vivid shades and shapes so colourfully portraying that distant nebula.  For that matter, who even knew the name of that distant speck of light magnified a few thousands of times  out of the background of countless other similar little specks of light lasered into the digitalized image of a tiny pinhole of a view onto the galactic scene.  Yes, who indeed?

I saw that shape and shivered.  I began to recognize the shape and associate that shape with a more dim and dreaded memory of ultimate terror.  That simple cylindrical shape was the only clue to the memory that had hidden for most of my conscious lifetime until now.  Now, it was seen again, seen for what it was, and recognized as the distant passing of a fate that was no less than the complete destruction from which it had only briefly emerged.

The dark object was as fast as it was as ominous in it's eternal hunt through the wisps of time.  The dark object had appeared, scanned the locality for signs of life, and then as quickly, darted back into the passage of time from which it had so briefly emerged.  The ultimate hunter had looked, and in so doing, determined that there was nothing worth the trouble to stop it's logically empirical hunt to destroy.  It was there and then gone, just as if it had never existed any more than the silly myths about such possibilities in the first place. 

I sat in deep shock for a long time.  Time stopped completely for me while my mind swirled back into my past life of experiences, searching for the relevence factor.  I had to know.  I had to seek out and find the actual recessed memories associated with that ominously dark cylindrical shape that had appeared briefly enough to have been caught in the digitalized image of an orbiting satellite observatory. 

Who could have calculated the odds for that image to have caught the briefest existence of that dark cylindrical object in this space time continuum.  Whatever, I had seen that dark shape starkly illuminated in the dying gasps of the nova.  I had somehow recognized the presence of that dark shape as being something worth the attention and priority I was now devoting to the actual search for that significant memory.  It had to be found and verified, if only to satisfy the reason behind my gut reaction and associated shivers of terror to the sight of something so innocuous to any, other than myself.   

What is my level of Self-Esteem?

Average.

You're very balanced. You're able to put things into perspective when life has its low moments because you know that things can only get better from here on out. You know that no one in life is perfect, so you're not the type to put unwarranted pressure on yourself. Everyone has something that makes them unique, and, thankfully, you're able to appreciate that!

Now, don't you wish everyone was balanced and level in the world?  It happens to be the real world, where every extreme exists, and there are stories for every occasion.  Unfortunately, the real world is not always what we want, and more than likely to be disappointing in some way.  It is only in the books, movies, and dreams that we can think of the positive and wonderful outcomes of every circumstance.  So, for me the daily accomplishment of sitting up is a wonderful thing.  Hm.

Today's morning passed by with many little 'z's' echoing in my ears.  I finally got up and had a bath by about 11:30 AM.  For once, the cats didn't even move to come and get their daily dose of suds and attentions from me.  I was very disappointed to see that the cats were so lethargic and in unison about their decision to forego their personal soap-a-dope session.

We had a relative stop in for a few days to tour the local area.  Lester was a resident for years and knew many people to visit and places to see.  He has kept busy doing something besides partying heavily all of the time like he used to do.  I suspect that age is catching up to him.  And, it appears that his propensity for partying has diminished over the years.  Ah, the joys and sorrows of being so young as to know the process of ageing.

There was a time not so long ago, when I would have freaked to have him back in the house.  Well, time has made a few differences and I have forgotten a lot more than what I have forgiven.  It is a lucky thing for him that I haven't made a scene about the past incidents where there was a real trouble between us.  Fortunately, things have changed enough to augment the  peaceful strain between us.  We both smile and talk nicely about nice things on a summer like sort of day.

There are many scientists involved in the exploration of energy, energy fields, and the effects of energy upon our world.  It has finally come to pass that the scientists have found patterns and relationships between energy fields from space and energy fields that make up our world's existence.  It is now thought that multiples of universes must exist to balance out patterns of energy fields that have existence and effect upon our apparent and visible universe.  We can't easily move between multiple universes, nor can we cross dimensions or travel in time.  But, those concepts are only hints of what can and does exist within and without our universe.  The key law of what exists above, so exists as below.  From microscopic to megascopic, we have hints of what does exist and how we might be able to explore more than the rudiments of other universes.  

We call astronomy the study of the stars.  But, the fossilized light from stars also contains the essential information of it's creation, plus what has affected it on it's long journey through space.  If we were to look closely to some of the more interesting areas of galaxies and nebula formations, we just might detect the effects of other anomalous energy fields.  We can only imagine what would create those momentary energy fields that have left their imprints and reflections upon the fossilized light from distant stars and galaxies.  

Who cares if there is something out there?  We can't even be concerned with the anomalies we can't explain right here on Earth.  While everyone is busy looking up, up, and away, there is something going on right in our own atmosphere.  There are UFO's, aliens, abductions, and a host of other stuff we have encountered and can't explain.  It isn't a case of providing proof, rather than it being a case of believing what already exists around us.  Whether you believe or not doesn't have any effect upon the fact that there is something behind the global stories of UFO's, aliens, and abductions.  Perhaps we are lucky that we haven't been interfered with much more than on individual terms.  

It is one thing to try to summarize a day's events while at the same time, compose a likely summary of a past event that involved numerous factors and as many different people to produce something of historic proportions. Well, I am attempting to do something along those lines by writing both about today and a historic event that happened very long ago which resulted in the present circumstances.  Hm.

Today was a parade of events and people who were joined by their common backgrounds and lack of commonality with society in general.  The parade was over eighty entries or represented groups and thousands of participants long.  Lining the route were more thousands who were almost participants as much as they were spectators.  Therein begins my overview of a series of events that did lead up to the establishment of many groups to take up where my little group effort left off over three decades ago.

I suppose what would pass as an introduction should be inserted at this point.  Beyond that, a summary of the foregoing would help immensely in keeping track of the general direction that events would follow regardless of the various independent outcomes of many other complexities.  It all adds up to one of the great unwritten or recorded eras in the evolution of society through a tumultous time of social changes.

I do believe that it begins now.  I will be up at all times of the night and day just to keep up my effort of documenting something I was a part of so very long ago.  I have trouble remembering things, but it doesn't matter much.  Whatever I do forget will somehow come to the surface and insert itself into the passage of history through time.  It was always the victor who wrote history, not some underling like me.